Well, that was quick

So much for a memorable World Series. Even being at Coors Field the last two days, I have few memories of the Boston sweep, because nothing memorable really happened. Matt Holliday's 3-run homer in the 7th inning on Saturday was a big moment, but quickly became a moot point when the Sox matched it with a 3-spot of their own in the 8th. And the Atkins home run gave the Rockies a little life in last night's game, but they just had no shot against Papelbon.

I think I actually missed the biggest story of the night by being at the park instead of watching it on TV. A-Rod's announcement that he will opt for free agency instead of returning to the Yankees is causing a big fuss among the national talkers today, because he and agent Scott Boras felt they had to thrust themselves into the conversation with the Red Sox two innings away from another World Series win. That's par for the course with Boras, and the overreaction to this ploy says more about the country's collective dislike for A-Rod and the deep-seated inferiority complex among Red Sox fans, who seem to be happiest when they have something to complain about.

A couple of media notes to wrap this up with a bow: If you've grown weary of the long World Series games, send an angry note to the fine people at FOX. At the stadium, the between-inning breaks seem interminable, I'm guessing because FOX gets to squeeze in an extra 30-second commercial every break, including pitching changes, which are numerous in the postseason when every manager knows the world is watching to see what a brilliant tactician he is.

Also, I listened to some post-game shows on the radio last night and they were pretty bad -- I think Minnesota sports fans are spoiled with KFAN. Maybe they don't talk 100 percent sports, but for the most part they know what they're talking about when they talk about sports. One guy on a Denver radio show last night -- the host, mind you -- thought that Troy Tulowitzki's rough World Series would hurt his chances to win the Rookie of the Year (the voting is conducted before the postseason starts), and when a caller said Matt Holliday should be the MVP, the host didn't know that Jimmy Rollins was his main competition, and he thought Prince Fielder was probably going to win it because he hit 29 home runs this year. I don't know, maybe he was stoned, but it was terrible.

5-teamer, distraction-style

I won't be paying much attention to the NFL this weekend, what with my trip to Denver for the World Series and all, so here's what I'm hoping occurs in my absence from the front of my TV:

Colts -6.5 at Panthers
Colts/Panthers over 44.5
Giants -9.5 vs. Dolphins in London (which could be an entry of its own)
Bucs -3.5 vs. Jaguars
Bills +2.5 at Jets

Carry on.

The ex-Twin factor

Baseball fans have always looked for an edge in determining the World Series winner. One popular notion is that the team with fewer ex-Cubs will win. So, let's look at it from an ex-Twin perspective. I'm still not sure if more or fewer ex-Twins will get you over the hump, but regardless, here are the former Minnesota ballplayers still toiling under the October skies:

Boston -- Bobby Kielty, David Ortiz (and Jason Varitek was a former first-round draft pick of the Twins but never signed)

Colorado -- LaTroy Hawkins

Considering how the Rockies have done so far in the playoffs (Phillies -- J.D. Durbin, Kyle Lohse, J.C. Romero; Arizona -- Jeff Cirillo, Augie Ojeda), you've got to like Colorado again.

All of this is a round-about way of mentioning that I'm going to be in Denver for the middle three games of the Series. I'm writing a couple of feature articles for magazines based in Colorado and Boston, and I've got a credential, so it didn't take much arm-twisting to get me there. WHIH will post from Coors Field when possible. Stay tuned.

Peter King and the preemptive strike

Peter King is one of the top football commentators in the country. He writes for Sports Illustrated, appears on HBO and NBC to discuss the NFL, and his "Monday Morning Quarterback" column on SI.com has become a must-read to the country's NFL fans.

Plus, he's a good guy, because he'll occasionally take a call from a nameless Viking Update writer and offer his take on the Purple.

Every Tuesday, he pens a follow-up to his MMQB column that responds to reader e-mail reactions to MMQB. He also usually tosses in a few new points, like his first item today, a preemptive strike for the ages that I hope gets posted on the bulletin board in the Colts' locker room:

I don't want to hear one thing from a Colt in the next two weeks along the lines of: "Nobody is giving us any credit. Everybody's jumping on the Patriot bandwagon, and people seem to forget we won the Super Bowl last year. We're getting dissed.''

Excellent point. All too often, players fall back on this straw-man argument and end up sounding like scared, petulant little children. This isn't a comment on the Colts, per se, but on all athletes in general. It will be interesting to see if the Colts, led by one of the classiest people in all of sports (Tony Dungy), will be able to resist this tired, fake motivational ploy.

While we're on the subject of the NFL, I went 3-for-5 last week, losing with the Raiders at home and Steelers on the road. I'd make those same picks every week, as I think both losses were flukes. We'll see what this week holds ...

WWJRD?

Remember when the big wave of the neoChristian movement a few years ago centered around those silly bracelets sporting the question, "WWJD?" Sure, they turned into more of a fashion statement and status symbol among the bible-camping tween girl crowd, but those initials stuck with us and are now part of our collective vocabulary.

That being said, I think it's time to introduce a new set of bracelets, t-shirts and bumper stickers with this slogan: "WWJRD?

As in, "What Would Jesus Really Do?"

I'm not going to get sidetracked here with a screed about the hypocrisy glaringly evident among so-called Christian politicians and fundamentalist megachurch leaders whose public statements often don't match their private actions, much to the rightful chagrin of those who've voted for them or pumped billions into their collection baskets.

No, this post is inspired by the actions of regular, every-day Christians, salt-of-the-earth types who want to shove their religion down the throats of their fellow citizens at every turn. Recently, I saw a car sporting a decal of "Calvin" from comic strip fame kneeling reverently before a cross.

Of course, this is merely an offshoot of the numerous "Calvin pissing" decals, in which the cheeky young lad relieves himself on various symbols that somehow have offended the car's owner -- rival automobile manufacturers, sports teams, even Osama bin Laden. I recently read an article about the creator of Calvin & Hobbes, Bill Watterson, in which I was not surprised to learn that not only was he not involved in creating these decals, nor does he receive any royalties from them, he would like the practice to cease and desist, but the legal fees associated with such a Quixotic battle would be overwhelming.

So, getting back to my main point, what does this have to do with "WWJRD?" Well, I know one thing Jesus wouldn't do ...

HE WOULDN'T STEAL ANOTHER PERSON'S INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY TO PROMOTE HIS OWN AGENDA!!!!!

Ya morons.

The 5-teamer, Week 7-style

Here's who fans of WHIH must root for on Sunday, because I'm ready to spend the rest of the season playing with the house's money:

Bills +3.5 vs. Ravens
Raiders -2.5 vs. Chiefs
Steelers -3.5 at Denver
Patriots -16.5 at Miami
Bengals/Jets over 46.5

I'm not really confident in any of these, and hope the handicapping gods will look kindly upon me this week. O great handicapping gods, I will leave you this gift of cookies for you in a show of my true gratitude. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no signal.

Thy will be done. Mmmm ... cookies ....

Sweet Jaysus, Lawd A'mighty

What else can you say about the breathtaking incompetence displayed by my alma mater on the gridiron? Well, other than wondering if www.firetimbrewster.com is available, that is.

I was prepared to see the Gophers lose to North Dakota State today. I mean, the Bison are the No. 1 team in the nation at their tier of schools -- formerly Division I-AA, now the Football Championship Cul-de-Sac. And the Gophers are truly bad.

But I was not prepared to be so frustrated with the way the Gophers lost. Maybe I haven't watched enough of their games lately. Maybe they've been playing this way all year. But I don't think so. They were flat-out embarrassing today. There's no other way to describe it.

With 30 seconds left in the first half, they were tied 14-14 and I thought that was about as it should be -- a bad D1 team is about equal to a great D1-AA. But then the Gophers allowed a slow, slower and even slower glorified fullback to scamper up the gut for 70 yards, setting up a free field goal.

Then the second half started, and the mistakes mounted. They could have downed a punt at the NDSU 2-yard line, but Steve Davis couldn't catch a ball that was falling softly into his hands on the bounce with nobody around him (in part, because he inexplicably leaped into the air like he was going for a rebound). They dropped passes. They couldn't tackle. They committed penalties. They threw interceptions. And finally, they roughed the punter when they had one last chance to save their own butts.

People are already saying the teams were equal, or that the Bison had better talent. I'm not buying it. That lets Tim Brewster off the hook too easily. This team has been ill-prepared all season, no more glaringly so than today. They let the Bison gain almost 40 yards on the ground. And despite what the morons in the booth were saying all game, that Roehl kid is NOT fast! You don't have to be fast to gain 15 yards when you aren't touched until you're 12 yards past the line of scrimmage. The defense was out of position all game. The line couldn't get off their blocks, the linebackers were clueless, and the secondary was nowhere to be seen.

The offense wasn't much better. The D couldn't catch its breath in the second half because the offense kept going 3-and-out. But the blame for this one falls squarely on the shoulders of the coaching staff. If you get beat because both teams played well and the other team just scored more points, I can accept that. But NDSU missed two field goals, coughed up a fumble that led to a Minnesota TD, and roughed the passer to extend another Gopher TD drive. They didn't play particularly well.

And when a Division I-AA team leaves the door open for their opponent to beat them, and Division I team should take care of business with ease. Even a terrible Division I team.