Almost perfect

From ESPN's Buster Olney:

"There are still weeks to go in the pennant race, there are pennant races and World Series games to come, but there will not be a better moment this year thanks to Mark Buehrle and the good folks in the Metrodome on Tuesday night."

Tip of the hat to Buehrle, and to Twins fans who, like the rest of their Minnesota brethren, can often be a provincial bunch. Last night, they showed that they get it and can be classy when they want to be. Kudos all around.

Month of Mauer trumped by Tex?

It's pretty much a given that Joe Mauer will get the AL Player of the Month award, right? I mean, he came back on May 1, so his season stats are his May stats -- .411 BA, .500 OBP, .838 SLG, 11 HR, 32 RBI, 1.338 OPS.


Not so fast my friend. The Yankees' Mark Teixiera had himself a good May -- .330 BA, .391 OBP, .748 SLG, 13 HR, 34 RBI, 1.138 OPS. Now, to most of us there's still no comparison -- yes, Tex had two more HR and two more RBI. But you know he has a chance, not just because of the East Coast bias but because of the Yankee bias.

MLB is desperate to get fans into those expensive seats at the new Stadium, and I believe they'll do anything to drum up positive publicity for the pinstripers. And given Teixiera's crummy April, there might be a few fans who assumed he was another free-agent bust and turned their attention elsewhere.

The Yankees are already playing a ton better -- No. 2 in the Yahoo! Power Rankings, a half-game up on the Red Sox in the East -- but giving Tex the AL Player of the Month would be something they could use in their marketing and ad campaigns as they try to sell tickets. So, if it happens, remember you heard it here first. Or, if you are in the greater NYC area, you probably heard it here first.

You just gotta love the self-absorption of the insulated Yankee media and fan base. Not even a mention of Mauer, or even Morneau, whose month rivaled Teixiera's. Then again, they probably know something we don't -- namely, that the Yankees always get their way. We'll see soon enough ...

The Baseball Bunch Book Club

Do you remember The Baseball Bunch? It was a syndicated show that ran (in our market) on Saturday mornings during the summer, often as the lead-in to This Week in Baseball, followed by the NBC Game of the Week. Johnny Bench and a weekly special guest star offered instructional tips to apple-cheeked Little Leaguers, highlights and bloopers got their share of airtime, and Bench tried to hone his acting chops in some amazingly awkward skits with the San Diego Chicken.

Ah ... memory lane. Anyway, I thought I'd spend the summer of 2009 resurrecting the spirit of The Baseball Bunch right here on WHIH. Of course, now that I'm an adult, the idea of laying about on a Saturday morning watching aging Hall of Fame catchers and grown men in mascot suits doesn't really appeal to me. But reading baseball books does. So I'm starting The Baseball Bunch Book Club.

I've picked out six titles for the inaugural TBBBC, and I welcome anybody to join me in this pursuit. I'll read one book per month and discuss it here on WHIH. Or on your web site. Or on Facebook. Or in a bar. Or on a train. Or in a plane. Or on a boat, with a goat. Just not on Twitter -- we're going to get a little deeper than 140 characters will allow.

Here's what's on tap for TBBBC this summer:

April -- The Last Real Season by Mike Shropshire -- I absolutely loved his book Seasons in Hell, which chronicled his time covering the Texas Rangers in the early 70s, back when Ted Williams and Billy Martin made for more interesting copy off the field than Mike Hargrove and Toby Harrah made on the field. The Last Real Season is a look at the 1975 baseball season, so dubbed because it was the final year before free agency blew up the entire economic structure of the game. I started it today and the intro, by Earl Weaver, is a great read. I hope the rest of the book follows suit.

May -- The Entitled: A Tale of Modern Baseball by Frank Deford -- Hard to go wrong with Deford, and I wanted to mix a little fiction into the syllabus. The Entitled is the story of a Tom Kelly-like manager (minor league lifer who gets his shot at managing in the bigs, although much later in life than TK) who has to handle a superstar who sounds like a mix of A-Rod, Barry Bonds and Albert Belle. Don't know much about it, but it's gotten good reviews.

June -- Crazy '08: How a Cast of Cranks, Rogues, Boneheads and Magnates Created the Greatest Year in Baseball History by Cait Murphy -- This book got crazy-good reviews when it came out a year ago, and I suppose I should have read it last summer as it was the 100th anniversary of this seminal season in baseball lore. From the World Series champion Chicago Cubs (!) of Tinkers-to-Evers-to-Chance fame to the New York (!) Giants of Christy Mathewson and John McGraw and beyond, this is a book every baseball historian should enjoy sinking his or her teeth into.

July -- The Soul of Baseball: A Road Trip Through Buck O'Neil's America by Joe Posnanski -- Again, if Posnanski's name is attached, you know it's going to be a good read. And Buck O'Neil has always fascinated me, because if anybody had a right to be a bitter, angry, sour old man, it was O'Neil, who missed out on fame and fortune because of the color of his skin. But he was always the classiest, most gracious ambassador the game has ever had, so when he and Posnanski spent the summer of 2005 traveling the country together, exploring and ruminating on baseball, it had to produce a compelling narrative.

August -- The Dixie Association (Voice of the South) by David Hays -- I don't know much about this one either. I was looking for another novel and since I've read most of the big ones (I did my senior thesis on baseball fiction back in my salad days at the U of M), I'm taking a flier on this, based on Amazon's description: "Meet the Arkansas Reds, the oddest, craziest, wildest bunch of sluggers ever to step out of a dugout. An ex-con first baseman named Hog chronicles a season with the Reds as they travel from one seedy southern ballpark to another--always one step ahead of the small-town sheriffs and right-wing evangelists who think the Reds are an insult to 'America's game.'" Sign me up!

September -- October 1964 by David Halberstam -- A true literary lion, Halberstam looks at the dying days of the Yankees dynasty as the Bombers battle the upstart St. Louis Cardinals, the first team with led predominantly by African-American stars. I love books that look at sports within the context of society, and nobody was more up to the task than Halberstam, a Pulitzer Prize winner who got elbow-deep in every major news story from Vietnam through Iraq. I think I'm saving the best for last, plus it will be a good teaser for the World Series.

So there you have it: the inaugural TBBBC syllabus. Please let me know if you're interested in reading and discussing any or all of these books with me. If you're not, too bad -- you're going to get my unexpurgated thoughts and opinions whether you like it or not. Or you won't, if you ignore my posts. But that's not what WHIH is all about, right?

BCS strikes again

In case you were wondering why I posted such angst about Saint Mary's on my Facebook page, I've made no secret of my affinity for the West Coast Conference. I write the annual previews for each of the eight member schools for the Blue Ribbon College Basketball Yearbook (download the 2009 tournament update here!). I covered the recent conference tournament here in Las Vegas. I even contemplated writing a book about the conference this season, but I couldn't find a publisher for it.

So I'm probably biased toward Saint Mary's. And I'm OK with that. They're an exciting team with an all-world point guard in Patrick Mills, a bunch of talented role players, the two-time all-WCC Defensive Player of the Year in Diamon Simpson, and a likable, quotable coach in Randy Bennett. So when the Gaels got stiffed by the NCAA Tournament selection committee on Sunday, I'll admit it, I was ticked.

But it's not so much what the committee did to Saint Mary's as what it's done and likely will continue to do to midmajor schools -- also known as schools from non-BCS conferences. This year, out of 34 at-large bids available in the 65-team pool, the committee only alloted four of those to non-BCS schools: Brigham Young, Dayton, Butler and Xavier.

Meanwhile, Saint Mary's (26 wins), Creighton (26 wins), Davidson (26 wins), Niagara (26 wins) and San Diego State (23 wins) all had strong cases for NCAA bids, but were all relegated to the NIT. Some of them were knocked off the bubble when teams such as Mississippi State and Southern Cal won their conference tournaments, but even if those automatic bids had gone to NCAA-worthy teams, somebody would be grumbling about an NIT berth today.

Saint Mary's had the strongest case of all the castaways, I believe -- they were 18-1 and leading Gonzaga by 6 late in the first half at Spokane when Mills broke his right wrist. The Gaels went on to lose that game and three of the next four before rallying to win their last five, including a victory over WAC champ Utah State. Mills returned for the WCC tourney and while he wasn't sharp, he was healthy, meaning the Gaels were much closer to the 18-1 version of their team than the Mills-free lineup.

CBS dutifully trotted out some pasty-faced old member of the selection committee to explain why the small schools continue to get the shaft, and his argument was less than convincing. He kept talking about the schools' "body of work" -- i.e., how they performed throughout the entirety of their schedule.

But of course, therein lies the problem. Most midmajor schools can't get the big boys to play them in their home arenas, so they have to settle for neutral-site games or playing on the road if they want to beef up their schedules. That's because the big boys have nothing to gain by beating a midmajor and everything to lose by losing to them. Sure, Gonzaga plays an extremely challenging schedule, but after numerous strong showings in the NCAA Tournament, the Zags now can get on anybody's schedule because a loss to the Zags doesn't hurt the big boys. But in order to build up that kind of a reputation, those midmajor schools have to get to the NCAA Tourney, a Catch-22 if I ever heard of one.

Meanwhile, we get stuck with BCS conference schools like Arizona, Wisconsin and yes, even my beloved Golden Gophers, all decidedly mediocre teams in the second tier of their mediocre conferences. My problem with these schools making the tourney is that we know what we're going to get from them. They've had all year to show that they're good enough to play with the top teams in their leagues (who are now the top seeds in their brackets) and they proved that they don't measure up. And if one of those teams should happen to get hot and reach the Final Four or win the whole thing, then what do we say? That the NCAA field is so watered down that a mediocre team like Arizona, Wisconsin or Minnesota can go on a run like that.

Some of our fondest memories of past NCAA Tournaments come from exciting, Cinderella-type teams that pull off big upsets. Nobody cares if Arizona, Wisconsin or Minnesota beats Duke, North Carolina or UConn. But if Davidson, Santa Clara or Valparaiso pulls off the stunner? That's memorable basketball. And that's what makes good midmajor schools such an attractive alternative to the mediocre middle-class BCS teams. We don't know what we've got in them. In a sense, their weaker schedules actually should work in their favor, because they haven't had a chance to prove themselves against the big boys. That's what the NCAA Tournament should provide -- a chance. Not another game or two for the seventh-place teams in the Big Ten, Big 12 or Pac-10.

My wife pointed out another flaw in the selection committee's logic. So, they have enough respect for Gonzaga to give the Zags a No. 4 seed, but nobody else in the WCC is worthy of a bid? Maybe all they were looking at was the Zags' nonconference schedule, but again, if nobody wants to play you, doesn't that say enough about how much respect your school has in the basketball world?

Of course, it all boils down to money. Arizona, Wisconsin and Minnesota have far more alumni who will travel to the games. They play in much bigger media markets, meaning bigger ad rates for the local CBS affiliates who broadcast their games. The committee can blather on and on about just looking at teams and stats and bodies of work, but we all know what's driving this. It's been done this way since the beginning of time, and it's not about to change.

Sure, I'll still watch the tourney. I might even wager on a game or two. But I refuse to accept that it's a better event with Arizona, Wisconsin and Minnesota in the bracket while Saint Mary's, Creighton and Davidson are stuck in the NIT.

Never too early to start your Christmas shopping

Just found out that my book is available for pre-order on Amazon.

Feeling kinda weird right now ... I mean, I knew this day was coming, but to see it out there after all the work we did is very, very rewarding. It certainly adds a new dimension to my egosurfing.

Two new Weekly stories for yours truly

This week, readers of the Las Vegas Weekly are treated to not one, but TWO articles by noted freelance writer P. Donnelly. One was right up my musical alley -- a review of the new disc by Mark Olson and Gary Louris, the dudes who founded one of my all-time favorite bands, The Jayhawks. The other article was a fun sports piece about two guys who got pulled out of the crowd at a UNLV basketball game to show off their shooting skills during a timeout. Both were really nice guys and as you'll read, they both cleared the bar they'd set for themselves.

Read more Mark Olson and Gary Louris: Ready for the Flood ...

Read more Shooting Stars ...

SI cover line FAIL

I'm a reasonably creative and sports-minded individual. I get puns, frequently use metaphors, and can crank out a simile like Bill Simmons cranks out podcasts. (See what I did there?)

But even for me, this SI cover line is an epic fail. If I have to take a full 60 seconds to figure out what "That's Six for the Sixth" means, I'm guessing the meaning sailed way over the heads of the average reader.

If you still haven't figured it out, "Six" refers to the touchdown, which is also known as "six" because it's worth six points. And that "six" gave the Steelers their sixth Super Bowl title.

Come on, SI. Don't make us work too hard. You're already about to get a flood of "cancel my subscription" mail with your upcoming swimsuit issue. Don't piss off a nation's worth of composition teachers too.

Back in the saddle

This week I took a big step. I successfully convinced the editors of the Las Vegas Weekly to accept the idea of a semi-regular sports column, penned by yours truly. This reminds me of the heyday of Channel 4000, when I wrote a weekly column -- unpaid -- for a full year before the parent company finally decided to bring me on-board full-time.

I won't have as much leeway with this column -- my topics will have to have some sort of local hook, which could entail just about anything since Las Vegas is such a national-interest city, so I'm not complaining, I'm just saying. Anyway, here's the debut:

"Las Vegas has a long and complicated history with the National Football League. In the realm of mutually beneficial yet often dysfunctional relationships of the last half-century, you have Bill and Hillary Clinton, John Lennon and Paul McCartney, Batman and the Joker, Terrell Owens and his ego and Las Vegas and the NFL."

Read more of "The NFL's Secret Lover" ...

It could, indeed, happen to you

To: The Arizona Cardinals

From: Fans of the Detroit Lions, Pittsburgh Pirates, Kansas City Royals, Minnesota Timberwolves, Los Angeles Clippers, and the University of Minnesota Golden Gopher football team

Re: Your upcoming Super Bowl appearance

Thank you! That's change we can believe in. You're selling hope, and we're buying! Because if you can get to the championship game of your sport, there might be hope for our teams after all. And you didn't even need to rely on Nic Cage's hairpiece to get you to the promised land.

The curious case of Sean Avery

So, I'm having a hard time getting my head around this whole Sean Avery commotion. If you haven't heard, the NHL has suspended the notorious bad-boy -- now playing for the Dallas Stars, a team that should never have existed in the first place, not that I'm still bitter or anything -- because he made a somewhat crass reference to an opponent's girlfriend.

Seriously, that's how I would refer to it -- "somewhat crass." Not "libelous" or "hateful" or even "a disgustingly typical example of the decline of today's standards of decorum as demonstrated on a daily basis by young men between the ages of 21 and 30." Because I've heard worse. In fact, I hear worse every day.

Here's what Avery had to say to the assembled press corps at a pregame skate in Calgary on Monday:

"I'm really happy to be back in Calgary. I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy-seconds. I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight."

Umm ... OK ... Sure, Avery has dated a couple of starlet/model types who have gone on to date other NHL players. And sure, Avery is known as pretty much one of the bigger jerks in the game right now (just ask Martin Brodeur).

But seriously, people -- have we reached the point where we suspend players and crank up the outrage level to code-red when a professional athlete says something tacky or classless? His comments weren't racist. You could argue that they're borderline sexist, although I view them as primarily directed at the players in question, not at his exes.

The only way this approaches the level to which NHL commissioner Gary Bettman has taken it is if you know the "textbook" definition of sloppy seconds, as offered by Urban Dictionary (possibly NSFW, definitely NSF anybody who's easily offended). But the term has pretty much slipped into common usage to the degree that it has lost most of its original meaning and 99.4 percent of its shock value.

Bottom line: you just can't legislate classiness. Send him to the principal's office, give him a stern talking-to, lecture him on decorum all you want. But an indefinite suspension? That's like clearing out some cobwebs with a blowtorch.

Joe Buck is a tool, reason No. 7,487

Monday night's World Series game provided yet another shining example of what a tool Joe Buck is. With the wind blowing and the rain falling, the Phillies held a 2-1 lead through 4-and-one-half innings.

Now, in a normal situation, like in a regular-season game in June, if the home team is leading after the visitors have batted at least five times, the game can be considered "official" and if the weather doesn't permit further play, the umpires can call the game and the home team would be credited with a victory.

But this is the World Series -- specifically, a potential clincher for the Phillies. If you really think the brain wizards at MLB, Inc., are going to let a Series-deciding game be called due to weather, with the World Championship essentially handed to the Phillies after anything less than nine innings, you're crazy.

Or you're Joe Buck. Because once the Rays were retired in the top of the 5th, Buck couldn't stop blurting out, "It's an official game! Remember, it's official!" Meaning, "The umpires could call this thing at any minute and the Phillies would be World Champions!"

Of course, you probably know by now that the Rays scratched out a run in the top of the sixth and the game was suspended until Tuesday night, when it will be picked up with the score tied 2-2 in the bottom of the sixth. But instead of letting it lie, Buck had to delve back into his own personal fantasy world and say something to the effect of, "The Rays are lucky they tied the game before the umpires had called it, or this thing would be over and the Phillies would be World Champs. And what a black eye it would be for Major League Baseball to have to award its championship in such a manner."

About a half-hour later, Commissioner Bud Selig confirmed in a press conference that if the Rays hadn't scored in the 6th, the game would have been in a "rain delay" that would have lasted as long as necessary. He said there's no way MLB would allow a World Series game to end before nine innings had been played.

So, back to Joe Buck. My biggest issue with him is the smug, know-it-all attitude that oozes through the TV screen every time he's on the air. In this instance, he didn't offer any contingencies, he didn't say he was speculating, he didn't say that in the regular season, this is how a game could be called early, and wouldn't it be interesting to see what MLB would do with that rule in the post-season ... nope, he just blundered ahead like the know-it-all that he is, likely giving Rays fans chest pains for a full inning before their heroes tied the game in the sixth.

I'll be interested to see if anybody else on the sports blogs makes a big deal out of this on Tuesday. It seems like it might be one of those wonky things that only baseball nerds like yours truly would care about. Then again, the Deadspins and Awful Announcings of the world did get kinda bent out of shape this summer when Buck admitted he rarely watches sports anymore and doesn't care much for baseball. Tonight's performance in the booth in Philadelphia pretty much confirmed that for me.

Sick like dog

I've been battling a bug for much of this week so the training has been on hold a bit. I thought it was just a little food poisoning but I had the bad body aches and atypical exhaustion, so I don't know what it was. I felt good enough yesterday to put in 40 minutes on the elliptical and I did a half-hour treadmill routine today (walking at varying inclines -- 12 percent doesn't sound like much, but you do it for two minutes and let me know how you feel when you're done) so I think I'm back to normal.

Valerie gave me a new training regimen to follow -- we're going to cut down to two days a week with me filling in the cardio four other days on my own. We're going to train on Mondays and Thursdays with me running a mile before each session (or a half-mile before and a half-mile after). On Tuesdays, I'll bike for 30 minutes and add in other cardio options as I see fit. Wednesdays will be my "light day" with walking, swimming or maybe even some yoga if I find a class I like. Never tried it before but I'm willing to do anything once.

On Fridays I'm back on the bike and will mix in some stairmaster or treadmill work, and on Saturday I'll start running up to 2 miles for now, pushing that to 3 miles by mid-November and eventually 4 miles as my max for now. And on Sundays, I rest.

Anybody with advice or anecdotes they've gleaned from their own training regimens are encouraged to post.

Oh, and as for the baseball playoffs, I like the Dodgers in six and the Red Sox in seven. I know, that means both teams will have to clinch on the road -- not a problem for the Dodgers, very dicey for the Sox in the Tampadome, but it could happen. They'll either win it in five or seven games, and I can see Tampa winning at least one at Fenway, so let's go with seven. Should be a fun series either way.

Playoff previews

Sorry I didn't get to this before the playoffs started -- I've been sequestered in a bunker in Sedona, Ariz., the past few days, engaging in some top-secret planning sessions in an attempt to make WHIH the best darn blog on the Internets. I just got back to lovely Henderson, so here's what I would have posted, had I been able to get to my computer yesterday. Swear to God.

-------------------------------------------

The month was January 2001. A young Ashton Kutcher was teaching the country to laugh with 'Dude, Where's My Car?' Americans were giddy with the anticipation of eight years of peace, prosperity and national unity following the inauguration of George W. Bush. And the Minnesota Vikings were preparing to play the New York Giants in the NFC Championship Game.

The Vikings, behind dynamic young quarterback Daunte Culpepper, flashy All-Pro receiver Randy Moss and a defense spearheaded by Wasswa Serwanga, were a rare road favorite against the untested Giants. Surely the experience of losing the 1998 NFC Championship Game to Atlanta would serve the Vikings well two years later and help vault them into their first Super Bowl in a quarter century.

Privately, Vikings coaches were telling anybody who'd listen that they were confident of a double-digit victory for the Purple-Helmeted Warriors.

Meanwhile, at the little website that could, a crew of talented sportswriters were compiling their weekly NFL predictions. When it came time to turn in my picks, I was roundly derided for selecting the Giants over the hometown favorites. When asked for my rationale, all I could fall back on was, "Until I see a Dennis Green-coached team actually play in the Super Bowl, I can't predict it happening."

The final score: Giants 41, Vikings 0.

Why am I rehashing this tale? Because of its obvious relevance to this year's MLB postseason.

Until I see the Los Angeles Orange County Anaheim Disneyland John Wayne International Angels actually beat the Boston Red Sox in the postseason, I can't predict it happening. Red Sox in 4.

Until I see the Chicago Cubs suppress the gag reflex and play up to their potential in the postseason, I can't predict it happening. Dodgers in 4.

As for the other two series, I'm on record as saying that by losing to the White Sox, the Twins avoided a sweep in Tampa, so Rays in 3. And I really like this Cole Hamels kid -- I think he'll pitch a gem in Game 1 and get some momentum going for Philadelphia. But CC will come up huge in Game 2 and the Brew Crew will take care of business back home, so Brewers in 4.

ESPN discovers dynamic new writer

One of the great things about writing for Blue Ribbon is seeing my prose on ESPN.com every year. BR has a deal with the gang in Bristol to provide our stories to their "Insider" subscribers. We don't get bylines, but anybody can tell Donnelly writing when they read it. Am I right?

Here are the links to the four stories I wrote this year, posted Thursday on ESPN.com.

• Missouri
• Kansas
• Colorado
• Iowa State

And with that, I'm off to begin my cross-country trek to God's Country. I'll be checking in from the road, so as they say, don't touch that dial ...

ASG Live Blog: The Whole Enchilada

Yes, WHIH fans, I stayed up for the whole thing -- even here on the West Coast it was a long haul -- so if you want to read the live blog in order, here are the links:

• Red Carpet Show
• Pregame Intros
• Innings 1-3
• Innings 4-6
• Innings 7-9
• Extra Innings

Enjoy, and make it a great Wednesday!

ASG Live Blog: Extra Innings

8:50 p.m. I'd love to see this thing go 15 or so innings and have Francona leave Rivera in there to pitch the whole thing. With the Yankees going to Fenway this weekend and the way the mooks in the Bronx treated Papelbon, even Earl Hickey would give Francona a karmic pass on that one.

8:53 p.m. Sweet DP turned by the Texas Rangers middle infielders, with the Big Canadian on the back end of a 4-6-3 to bail out Mariano. Maybe Kinsler and Young will get a cookie fastball from Mo the next time they face him. Otherwise, Mo's on the hook as the losing pitcher in the last All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium.

8:57 p.m. OK, who did Dan Uggla piss off? Because that's just a sick way to get noticed on the national stage. Back-to-back errors in the 10th inning of an all-star game is not something you want to see on your baseball resume.

9:03 p.m. Uggla gets the monkey off his back a bit by getting the first out of the inning at the plate. Then Guzman makes a decent play at third, considering he's a shortstop. Now it's up to the Big Canadian ... and he can't get it done! We're going to the 11th! Uggla's career has been saved! And Bud Selig's ulcer just throbbed a little.

9:18 p.m. And once again, technology rears its ugly head as Kinsler is called out at second base on a steal attempt. Problem is, Tejada never tagged him, and the slow-mo made that painfully obvious. Even to the naked eye, you could see that Kinsler had made a great slide to the back side of the base and Tejada just swept his glove through the zone where the runner's foot is usually found. The ump relied on the old 'the ball beat him' rule and called him out ... and the band played on.

9:22 p.m. Unreal. Nate McLouth throws Dionner Navarro out at the plate. Aaron Cook has given up hit after hit after hit and yet he's still got two outs in the inning. And as it turns out, Navarro beat the tag as well -- his foot was on the plate while Russell Martin was tagging him in the crotch. But the throw beat him. And with another fine play by noted third baseman Cristian Guzman, Cook is out of another jam and we're on our way to the 12th inning.

9:31 p.m. A walk, a bunt hit, a sacrifice and an intentional walk have loaded the bases for Uggla, who really, really wishes this night would end quickly. Soria broke off one of the wickedest 12-to-6 curveballs you've ever seen to finish him off in three pitches. Here comes George Sherrill to try and get Adrian Gonzalez. The only thing I know about George Sherrill is that he told Sports Illustrated that if a movie were to be made about his life, he'd want Denzel Washington to play him. Oh, and he's white.

9:33 p.m. The worst part of extra innings? More airings of that Baby Ruth commercial. You know, the one with the giant bobblehead guy playing the ukulele and singing horribly? Yeah, that one. I'd love to hear about that ad pitch. "How can we sell more candy bars? I know -- an annoying guy with a ukulele!"

9:36 p.m. I now know this about George Sherrill -- he can strike out Gonzalez on three pitches to retire the side. I hope he's got about four more innings in him, the way this one is going.

9:40 p.m. Hey, Uggla made a play! Well, sorta. At least he got the out. The winning run is 90 feet away. Longoria just needs a fly ball. The Big Canadian is on deck. Do you get the sense that McCarver is impressed with Russell Martin? I know you were a catcher Timmy, but try to keep your gushing to a minimum. You're starting to sound like Paul McGuire describing a punter.

9:43 p.m. Longoria whiffs. Aaron Cook could wiggle out of this one again! They walk the Big Canadian to get to Kinsler. He's just the leading hitter in the American League. But he's not the Big Canadian! They didn't even try to throw out the Big Canadian at second! Defensive indifference, my ass -- they knew they had no chance! Yes, I'm getting a bit loopy by now.

9:46 p.m. Kinsler grounds out to Guzman. We're going 13. Selig looks like he just swallowed Rod Carew's chaw.

10:00 p.m. Uggla apparently is trying to win the MVP for the American League. His third error -- on a bad hop, let's all admit it -- puts Drew on first base with one out. Carlos Marmol, who gave up five runs in one inning his last time out, has been trotted out to end this thing. Buck just said that Scott Kazmir -- the last pitcher in the AL bullpen -- has sat down again after previously getting stretched out. With Sherrill already having gone 1 1/3 innings, you have to think he's done.

10:02 p.m. Drew steals second as Michael Young strikes out. One more shot for the AL, Carlos Quentin. If he can't bring home the run, we'll see if we're going to get another inning, and if so, who will throw it. Bud Selig might be dead right now, for all we know.

10:05 p.m. Quentin strikes out. It's after 1 a.m. on the East Coast. A-Rod is watching the end of the game while spooning with Madge in her townhouse. Jeter's already on his third date of the evening. Joe Buck is wondering if he gets paid by the inning.

10:10 p.m. Sherrill tosses another frame. If the Orioles were in the race, this might be an issue. As it is, Francona will probably get a nasty letter from Wild Bill Hagy. From beyond the grave, of course. It looks like Kazmir is on for the 15th. And as Buck noted, "Once Kazmir takes the mound, the clock is ticking. Maybe we can have the Hall-of-Famers pitch!" Yeah, if you can wake them up.

10:18 p.m. Brandon Webb mows down the AL in order. The Big Canadian will be leading off the bottom of the 15th! Let's see if Kazmir can throw a scoreless frame and give the Big Canadian a chance at a walk-off home run, thus giving him the HR Derby title and the All-Star MVP award in one fell swoop! Yeah, I'm getting a little loopy again.

10:28 p.m. Well, here we go! Kazmir blanked the NL in the 15th, so here comes the Big Canadian against Brad Lidge. And he leads off with a single to center! Let's see the Big Canadian swipe a bag now...

10:36 p.m. YES! I KNEW IT! The Big Canadian's wheels win it for the American League! Morneau slides in ahead of Corey Hart's throw, scoring from third on Michael Young's sac fly to give the AL a 4-3 win in 15 innings.

And despite the occasional snark or sarcasm in this blog, it was genuinely cool to see the guys all celebrating after the game. Morneau and Quentin wrapped each other in a giant hug, Youkilis jumped into the pile for some celebratory man love, and Francona got a nicotine-soaked hug from Jim Leyland.

J.D. Drew gets the Chevy MVP award from a relieved Bud Selig. A few New Yawk mooks are still around booing. And all is right in the world as the AL wins another All-Star Game. Good-night, everybody!

ASG Live Blog: Innings 7-9

7:38 p.m. The man once dubbed "Twitchy McXanax" by the late, lamented BatGirl (she's not dead -- just her blog is) takes the hill for the AL. Man, I knew Nathan was awesome, but I didn't realize that among all pitchers with at least 200 saves, he has the second-best save percentage all-time. That's ridiculous. It also explains why I feel so different when he enters the game, compared to how I felt when Eddie Guardado's High-Wire Act or even Rick Aguilera's Beard were the Twins' closers.

7:41 p.m. Josh Groban just strolled onto the field to sing "God Bless America." It says something about my interest in popular music that I asked my wife, "Who's this?" She said, "Josh Groban," and I was momentarily stunned until I realized his name was on the screen at the time. That was a pretty prissy rendition of the song, by the way. I'd rather have Ronan Tynan and his massive ears -- we're at Yankee Stadium, for crying out loud.

7:48 p.m. OK, things are starting to heat up now. Morneau just scalded a double to right and McCarver told us it was off Edinson Volquez's changeup, which has become "the pitch of the islands." He didn't specify if he meant the Canary Islands, or the Bahamas or what. Now he tells us he got it from a Wall Street Journal article. Sometimes these blogs just write themselves.

7:53 p.m. J.D. Drew just did the only thing that could earn a Boston athlete cheers from a New York crowd -- he tied the game with a two-run homer. It was a line drive to right field that was flatter than the brim on Volquez's cap. And it's a whole new ballgame.

8:03 p.m. Well, that lead lasted all of 10 minutes, as Miguel Tejada singled, stole second, moved to third on a throwing error and scored on a sac fly by Adrian Gonzalez. All of this against Jonathan Papelbon, who was just defended by the FOX broadcast crew who were truly offended by the New York Daily News story about Papelbon's comments regarding who should pitch the 9th inning tonight. Gee, you guys are surprised that a New York tabloid would manufacture a controversy involving a rival team? Fellas, the turnip truck you fell off is leaving soon ...

8:19 p.m. Evan (I'm already sick of the "Desperate Houswives" jokes) Longoria ties it back up with a ground-rule double off Billy Wagner, scoring Grady Sizemore shortly after he stole second base to get into scoring position. But the Big Canadian couldn't bloop a single to get the go-ahead run home, so we head to the 9th tied at 3.

8:35 p.m. Well, Dempster is in and this shouldn't take long. He's a good pitcher, but his home/road splits are shocking. And as we all know, tonight's game is not being played at Wrigley Field.

8:42 p.m. ... and Dempster strikes out the side to send us to extra innings. Go figure.

ASG Live Blog: Innings 4-6

6:40 p.m. Super-slow-mo just showed us that Pujols was actually safe at second, even though the throw beat him. Umpires have to hate that camera, because it exposes the old ways of calling a game. For years, if the throw beat you to the base, you were out, no matter how late the tag was. If a middle infielder was near second base on an attempted double play, the force was given. Pitchers who worked the outside corner consistently would get an extra three inches off the black, then four inches, then five inches, and so on. Technology is killing the umps and they're going to either have to embrace it to improve their performance or eventually be replaced altogether.

6:44 p.m. I can't overemphasize what a dork A-Rod looks like in those big, puffy white shoes. He looks like a high school kid who just stepped off the team bus in full uniform but wanted to put his spikes on in the dugout.

6:54 p.m. We have lift-off! Matt Holliday hammers a line drive to right for a home run off Ervin Santana. Amazingly, there are no puns on either player's name. I guess I've been watching Chris Berman for too long.

6:56 p.m. A-Rod gets taken out in the middle of an inning so the Yankees fans can applaud him. If any Yankees fans were actually at the game, that might have worked out well. Or if Yankees fans in attendance actually liked A-Rod. Or if anybody actually liked A-Rod.

7:03 p.m. Baby Jesus crushes an infield single and gets pulled for a pinch runner. It'll be interesting to see if Ian Kinsler stays in the game and they put the new catcher in Pedroia's spot, or if Francona is going to stick with his guys for nine innings. Because, you know, they're the Red Sox and they rule.

7:07 p.m. Wow, Haren just blew a fastball past Ichiro for strike three. Captain Cool is the AL's last chance this inning with two runners on and the AL trailing by a run. The "fans" just did some kind of chant for Jeter, but that lasted all of one pitch.

Buck just told us that over the last 20 games, the AL is 16-3-1. Yes, that one sticks out like A-Rod's white shoes.

And Jeter bounces back to the mound. Still 1-0. Fighting ... to ... stay ... awake.

7:15 p.m. They just showed the AL bullpen, where we were treated to a snapshot of what goes on in the bullpen in the sixth inning of a 1-0 game: Joakim Soria was picking his nose, and Mariano Rivera was yawning. We know how you feel, Mo.

7:17 p.m. I'm actually kind of surprised that we haven't seen more sponsored segments of this game. I started taking notes on the advertisers we've seen so far -- the Aquafina Make Your Body Happy Sweepstakes, the Baby Ruth Take Me Out to the Ballgame Contest, the Chevy Pregame Show, etc. -- but FOX has shown remarkable restraint during the game. Even the Foxbox isn't sponsored -- I thought for sure there would be a Vagisil or Flomax tag on there somewhere.

7:19 p.m. A Berkman sac fly puts the NL on top 2-0, and Jeter gets taken out of the game mid-inning. I sincerely hope this is just Francona pandering to the Yankee crowd in hopes of being able to get out of the stadium without being pelted with rotten fruit, and not the start of an All-Star trend where the home team's players are all given a chance to doff their lids in the middle of an inning. These things usually take long enough as it is. Even now, we're on a three-hour pace despite the lack of offense.

7:28 p.m. Mr. 28 Home Runs leads off the sixth with a single. As Jeff Spicoli might say, "All right Hamilton!"

7:33 p.m. Despite a fourth stolen base, the AL squanders another runner in scoring position and trails 2-0 after six. Somewhere, Milwaukee Brewers fans are giddy at the prospect of home-field advantage.

ASG Live Blog: Innings 1-3

5:47 p.m. Buck said, "Hanley Ramirez, if you don't know, is one of the best young players in the game," or something along those lines. Well, Joe, of course most people don't know that. It's hard to know that when every national game of the week on FOX or ESPN is either Red Sox-Yankees, Mets-Cubs, Yankees-Mets, or a Red Sox intrasquad game.

5:51 p.m. Cliff Lee strikes out two in a perfect first inning. Satan just called him in the dugout to remind him of the terms of their deal.

5:56 p.m. OK, FOX -- we know this game is in Yankee Stadium. You don't have to give us the Yankees' franchise leaders in every statistical category. Unless it's 'Most Marriages Destroyed by Over-the-Hill Pop Stars.' Then, by all means, fire away.

6:16 p.m. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I love seeing the Twins' home white uniforms under the lights in a night game outdoors. Since 1982, the only times we get to see that are Spring Training and every other All-Star Game. 2010 can't come soon enough.

And Baby Jesus coaxes a walk. Nice to see an All-Star do what he does best. Maybe Pedroia will follow by grabbing his crotch in a shout-out to Julio Lugo.

6:33 p.m. It's been a painfully boring first three innings. McCarver just livened it up a little by saying that Ichiro is a guy who might merit Hall of Fame consideration. Gee, ya think, Tim? Your guys in the truck just posted a graphic telling us that Ichiro has had 200 hits, 100 runs, 30 stolen bases and a .300 average in each of his first SEVEN seasons in the majors.

ASG Live Blog: Pregame Intros

This was always my favorite part of the game as a kid -- because it was the one time I'd actually get to see the Twins' lone representative. For years, it was Rod Carew in the starting lineup. Then in the early 80s it got real ugly -- Doug Corbett, Dave Engle, Bombo Rivera (not really, but if fans could vote a million times over the internet like you can now, he would have made it).

Then Gary Gaetti ruined the whole thing for me. One year he writes "Hi Rex" on his batting gloves to greet Kent Hrbek back at home. The next year, he writes "Jesus Saves" on his gloves. And the world has not been the same since.

5:02 p.m. Nice to see Nate McLouth and Ryan Ludwick lined up next to each other. How do you think that conversation went? "Soak it all up, buddy -- we'll never be back here again."

5:05 p.m. Jim Leyland stopped smoking long enough to tip his cap on the baseline. I'm sure he deployed the emergency nicotine patch for the 10 minutes away from the dugout tunnel.

Joe Nathan rubbed his nose before waving to the camera. Either he was sending a signal to somebody at home, or he can't stop twitching even when he's standing still.

5:10 p.m. One local note -- just saw an ad for a contest that is sponsored by Las Vegas -- the winner gets a trip here. I find this interesting because the NFL wouldn't even allow advertisements for the NBC TV show "Vegas," let alone ads for Vegas.com or other entities. Never thought I'd see the day when MLB was more forward-thinking than the NFL.

5:13 p.m. Hall of Fame time! Man, Eckersley looks like he could still be playing. Gaylord Perry looks like he pitched to Ty Cobb. And right about now, Bert Blyleven kicked his dog.

If somebody had told you a year ago that Cliff Lee would be standing next to Steve Carlton on All-Star night, you would have thought Lee was washing his windshield.

Ooh, good. Harmon wore a Twins cap. I was afraid he might go with the Royals.

Gotta love Yankees fans -- they boo any Red Sox on cue, but after the big buildup to Whitey Ford, he got a few golf claps. I'm guessing most of these mooks have never even heard of Whitey Ford, but they could look him up on their Blackberries if they weren't so busy texting their financial advisors right now.

I get that MLB is trying to copy the NFL with their Hall-of-Fame blazers, but it's just not working. This thing looks like a Realtors convention.

A-Rod is wearing white shoes. Jeter is not. 'Nuff said.

Give Milton Bradley credit -- he didn't punch anybody on his way out to his spot on the field.

Did they forget the catchers? You have to think Joe Buck screwed that up. First he announced the managers, then the catchers, then the Hall of Fame catchers. Buck must have been distracted by a quarter somebody dropped on the press box floor.

Where's Johnny Bench? Didn't he make the Hall of Fame just on his "Baseball Bunch" career alone?

5:37 p.m. Egads! George Steinbrenner is still alive! I can't believe they're letting him out in public. I don't want to say he's slipped a bit, but I think he just tried to fire Billy Martin again.

Nice ceremonial first pitch(es), but no pregame tribute to Yankee Stadium would be complete without the ceremonial first D-cell battery toss from the upper deck in right field.

Buck just threw it to commercial with, "When we come back, we will set up this All-Star Game, the 2008 version, here in the Bronx." What the hell have we been doing for the last hour and 37 minutes?!

5:47 p.m. Oh, right. They have to have a special segment just to introduce Tim McCarver into the mix. He just compared your body's core to the core of the NL lineup in an analogy that was about as tortured as a prisoner at Gitmo. OK, there's another tortured analogy for you, but what the hell? McCarver got me into the tortured analogy spirit.