That flapping you hear ...

... is the sound of chickens coming home to roost. After a full week of tossing bloody chum into the waters, John McCain is shocked -- shocked! -- to find out that supporters at his rallies think Obama is a terrorist, an Arab, a Marxist, or merely somebody who should strike fear in the hearts of God-lovin' 'Murkins.

Here's the money quote:

"I don't trust Obama," a woman said. "I have read about him. He's an Arab."

McCain shook his head in disagreement, and said:

"No, ma'am. He's a decent, family man, a citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with (him) on fundamental issues and that's what this campaign is all about."

He had drawn boos with his comment: "I have to tell you, he is a decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared of as president of the United States."

So there remains a kernel of integrity somewhere deep down inside John McCain, a sense of decency and honor. Too bad it took this long to reveal itself. True, he may lose the election by tamping down his personal attacks on Obama (actually, he may lose it either way), but at least this way, "Country First" doesn't ring entirely hollow.

(Smirk. Snort! Titter!!)

I've got quite a bit of bile stored up about the ugly tone of the recent McCain-Palin campaign rallies, but I'll save that for a later post. I just had to get this on the record -- here's the caption for the following photo, courtesy of the arch-conservative Las Vegas Review-Journal (and if you've lost the R-J, you've lost right-wing America):


The caption: "Republican presidential nominee John McCain kisses a boy Wednesday during a rally in Bethlehem, Pa."

Not "kisses a baby" or "kisses a child" but "kisses a boy." Nice one, R-J copy editor. If Sherm Frederick hasn't ordered you to clean out your desk by now, I'd be stunned.

As for McCain ... well, if Larry Craig and Mark Foley can keep getting elected ...

Sick like dog

I've been battling a bug for much of this week so the training has been on hold a bit. I thought it was just a little food poisoning but I had the bad body aches and atypical exhaustion, so I don't know what it was. I felt good enough yesterday to put in 40 minutes on the elliptical and I did a half-hour treadmill routine today (walking at varying inclines -- 12 percent doesn't sound like much, but you do it for two minutes and let me know how you feel when you're done) so I think I'm back to normal.

Valerie gave me a new training regimen to follow -- we're going to cut down to two days a week with me filling in the cardio four other days on my own. We're going to train on Mondays and Thursdays with me running a mile before each session (or a half-mile before and a half-mile after). On Tuesdays, I'll bike for 30 minutes and add in other cardio options as I see fit. Wednesdays will be my "light day" with walking, swimming or maybe even some yoga if I find a class I like. Never tried it before but I'm willing to do anything once.

On Fridays I'm back on the bike and will mix in some stairmaster or treadmill work, and on Saturday I'll start running up to 2 miles for now, pushing that to 3 miles by mid-November and eventually 4 miles as my max for now. And on Sundays, I rest.

Anybody with advice or anecdotes they've gleaned from their own training regimens are encouraged to post.

Oh, and as for the baseball playoffs, I like the Dodgers in six and the Red Sox in seven. I know, that means both teams will have to clinch on the road -- not a problem for the Dodgers, very dicey for the Sox in the Tampadome, but it could happen. They'll either win it in five or seven games, and I can see Tampa winning at least one at Fenway, so let's go with seven. Should be a fun series either way.

Week 5: A debatable NFL parlay

If you're upset that I didn't post last week's five-teamer, consider yourself lucky that you didn't have a chance to follow my sage advice. I was too caught up in baseball fever to post my picks or, apparently, think them through, because I went 2-3.

This week, we've got a fresh batch of small-town, mavericky, straight-talkin' NFL picks that I'm sending out straight to the American people, without the filter of the elite, East Coast football media.

• Texans +3.5 vs. Indy -- the long, strange trip ends for Houston, which returns to the Lone Star State (the lone star apparently being Steve Slaton) to face a banged-up Colts team that has struggled with the upstart expansioneers
• Titans -2.5 at Baltimore -- Last week made me a believer in Tennessee -- any team that can so thoroughly befuddle the great Gus Frerotte should have no problem with Joe Flacco
• Panthers -9.5 vs. KC -- the Chiefs got their win last week; they won't get No. 2 in Charlotte
• Bucs-Broncos over 47.5 -- Brian Griese returns to Denver to face the Broncos' horrible pass defense, while Jay Cutler gets to show the home fans that last week's debacle in KC was due to tainted barbecue
• Bills-Cards over 44.5 -- giving up 14 points to the Rams, as the Bills did last week, equates to roughly 35 points allowed against an NFL offense, while the Cardinals' feat of allowing Breffarve to throw six TD passes last week was the most breath-taking act of subservience to a senior citizen since Denny's started serving the early-bird dinner special at 3 p.m.
  

Last week: 2-3
Season: 7-12-1

A team of mavericks

OK, first of all, I have to say that I thought Sarah Palin did a fine job in Thursday's VP debate. She stuck to her talking points, didn't answer any questions, and certainly connected with the "values voters" who comprise the Republican base. Also, she didn't vomit, faint, or start praying at the podium.

And I honestly thought the post-debate mingling between the families was rather touching. There seemed to be some genuine respect and goodwill on display, and it gave me some hope for possible national unity come next January 20, regardless of which ticket wins.

BUT ...

Seriously, folks. She kept referring to the Republican ticket as "a team of mavericks." Now, I know we can't all be English majors (jealous much?), so it's no surprise that the language is abused on a fairly regular basis during political campaigns. But this is a pretty basic contradiction of terms.

team: a number of persons forming one of the sides in a game or contest; a number of persons associated in some joint action

maverick: a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates

It stands to reason, then, that true mavericks are incapable of associating in some joint action. Oh sure, at first they can act in concert to achieve a specific goal -- say, getting elected. But once in office, can't you just seem them spinning off in 100 different directions, entirely incapable of getting anything done or staying on point? Take a look at McCain's erratic performance in the campaign so far if you want to see what a team of mavericks is capable of.

So ... a team of mavericks:

or

Very few people here in Henderson have positive stories about betting on Mavericks.

Playoff previews

Sorry I didn't get to this before the playoffs started -- I've been sequestered in a bunker in Sedona, Ariz., the past few days, engaging in some top-secret planning sessions in an attempt to make WHIH the best darn blog on the Internets. I just got back to lovely Henderson, so here's what I would have posted, had I been able to get to my computer yesterday. Swear to God.

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The month was January 2001. A young Ashton Kutcher was teaching the country to laugh with 'Dude, Where's My Car?' Americans were giddy with the anticipation of eight years of peace, prosperity and national unity following the inauguration of George W. Bush. And the Minnesota Vikings were preparing to play the New York Giants in the NFC Championship Game.

The Vikings, behind dynamic young quarterback Daunte Culpepper, flashy All-Pro receiver Randy Moss and a defense spearheaded by Wasswa Serwanga, were a rare road favorite against the untested Giants. Surely the experience of losing the 1998 NFC Championship Game to Atlanta would serve the Vikings well two years later and help vault them into their first Super Bowl in a quarter century.

Privately, Vikings coaches were telling anybody who'd listen that they were confident of a double-digit victory for the Purple-Helmeted Warriors.

Meanwhile, at the little website that could, a crew of talented sportswriters were compiling their weekly NFL predictions. When it came time to turn in my picks, I was roundly derided for selecting the Giants over the hometown favorites. When asked for my rationale, all I could fall back on was, "Until I see a Dennis Green-coached team actually play in the Super Bowl, I can't predict it happening."

The final score: Giants 41, Vikings 0.

Why am I rehashing this tale? Because of its obvious relevance to this year's MLB postseason.

Until I see the Los Angeles Orange County Anaheim Disneyland John Wayne International Angels actually beat the Boston Red Sox in the postseason, I can't predict it happening. Red Sox in 4.

Until I see the Chicago Cubs suppress the gag reflex and play up to their potential in the postseason, I can't predict it happening. Dodgers in 4.

As for the other two series, I'm on record as saying that by losing to the White Sox, the Twins avoided a sweep in Tampa, so Rays in 3. And I really like this Cole Hamels kid -- I think he'll pitch a gem in Game 1 and get some momentum going for Philadelphia. But CC will come up huge in Game 2 and the Brew Crew will take care of business back home, so Brewers in 4.

Tiebreaker recap

Hey Sox fans -- the Man in Black has two words for you.

Meanwhile, the future is bright for the Twins. Five young starting pitchers -- age 24 to 26 this season -- with a year of experience under their belts. Mauer, Morneau and Nathan locked up long-term. Great years from the "kids" -- Gomez, Span and Casilla. The potential emergence of Mijares as an eighth-inning guy, with Neshek coming back next year as well. And only one more year in the Dome.

Pitchers and catchers report in 132 days ...